Hello
everyone The Copycat Kid here, Infinity founder and current COO. My apologies
for the delay in the feedback this time round, I have been busy personally in
the real world and I hope you can all understand that a piece of work like this
takes a considerable amount of time to perfect and complete. Anyway, the third
week of Infinity has been rolled on by with another huge success and right now I,
your King of Character, will be doing the fortnightly feedback on the submitted
promos from Infinity #3 which took place on 2nd September 2013. I’ll
try and keep it as brief as I can this week, let’s start this hurricane of
canonical mayhem.
If
you want to re-read the promos from Infinity
#1, Infinity #2, and now Infinity #3 then here is the link:
I
think by having a useful promo archive we can keep track of the living story,
and also people’s progress. No doubt that even in a few weeks you will notice
subtle or major improvements in your promo’s this week. We will have PPV Promo
Archives as well; I have one already waiting to be filled for Immortalis, the
first Infinity PPV.
This
week we had a 66.6% attendance rate; there was some disappointing news from
promising new stars. I really don’t like doing this but to name and shame but
it is in good taste when we give people an opportunity to be part of a living
story and then they no-show.
Lucian
Shannon, surprise surprise, was one of the men. Following him into the red this
week are the two new debuting stars Jett Underwood and Rick Bowman, Typhon
Kaos, Jason Smith, and lastly Fair City’s Jordan Casanova. Talk about sticking
it to the City.
We
hope that we can speak to as many people about this issue, and hopefully get
hold of you to discuss the reason why. Infinity management are relaxed and as
long as we can do anything to help you get a promo in on time we are here, so
hit us up whenever a problem arises such as internet problems or hectic lives.
Having
said that many of the roster members have kept their pledge and are unflawed in
their promo score and I thank with all sincerity of my copycat heart. If you
would like to take a look at the current standings of everyone’s cumulative
promo score then head over to the Infinity Developmental page where I keep
track of the rosters progress in their promos. Here is the link:
Management
split the matches each week, this week there was five matches, just so you know
this is who write whose match this week. But to make it perfectly clear we read
and judge every promo together so that it removes the possibility of bias.
Casanova
& Rydell vs. Jason Smith & Typhon Kaos – Blackmore
Starkiss
& Jamo vs. Joey Tierney & Lucian Shannon – Blackmore
Chris
Michaels & James Jameson vs. Team Over Rated – TCK
Murray
Muir & Jack Anderson vs. Rick Bowman & Jett Underwood – TCK
Powers
vs. Young – Blackmore
This
week’s promo length was a massive improvement; that was word for word from last
week, however some people again fell short because they gambled with a shorter
promo, again another word for word. In fact let me refresh you with the same
stuff I said last week that applies for this week: “An A4 page worth of material can only be match winning material if it
truly convinces me why you should win a match, the secret is that shorter
promo’s need to be more relevant and direct to have any chance of winning.”
Here
at Infinity we are not asking for mammoth 6000+ word promos for every show, we
only want for each promo to hit the nail on the head to do well in your match.
Longer promo’s like Adrian Flynn’s work because of the way they are written and
immerse you, so shorter ones need to pack a punch. Well done to everyone
though, another solid week of promo’s.
We
would like to single out Matt Young and James Jameson who really stepped it up
this week in terms of length. Jameson’s promo gave the whole package and was a
strong showing and enough to win his match with Chris Michaels; Matt Young’s
gave some character depth we liked to see.
Infinity
#3 was an improvement all round, but some people still refuse to caps-lock the
I’s and use commas, but still grammar is all about impressions, and the point
of writing more is to improve it gradually over the time. I’ll repeat again
what I said last week to ingrain the point of the importance of grammar into
promos: “Promos made me aware about how
bad my grammar was and how it led to me writing novels as I felt confident the
skills I learned in my promos had improved my written English quality which is
also important for real life jobs. I would remind everyone about the greatest
thing ever invented for any writing software: spell-check.”
The
wrestling language of Walkerian may be a mainstay for the forum, Facebook, and
social media…but inside a promo is sloppy work all round. Infinity #3 was much
better than two, I can only hope for a perfect read in Infinity #4.
As
ever the basis of how Infinity management judge promo scripts is based off a
system, if this is your first week in Infinity then let me into how we do it.
Instead of judging peoples work solely based off of one person’s ‘preferences’
which is an awful way of judging promos because they are unpredictable and
quite frankly idiotic, we have a system in place to make the best
choice. Here is how we judge promos, some factors are more important
than others, i.e. relevance to the match being most important, and fun to read
too.
Good Promos:
·
Grabs
the reader’s attention and imagination
·
Direct,
relevant to the match you are in
·
Written
well, with good grammar and fitting writing style for your character
·
Interesting
to read, original, innovative
·
Adds
a new piece of story that improves Infinity City
·
Shows
your knowledge of the Infinity City, whilst also interlinking with its living
story
·
Complements
your character/gimmick, and puts them over
·
Keeps
to your alignment (Heel/Face/Tweener etc.)
·
Dialogue
used well
·
Balanced
in regards to length of promo
Bad Promos:
·
Copied
or heavily plagiarised (cheaters will face consequences)
·
Indirect,
not relevant to the match you are in
·
Poor
use of grammar and chosen writing style for your character
·
Boring
and unoriginal
·
Adds
little or degrades the story of the Infinity City
·
Shows
poor knowledge of the Infinity City, nor does it link to the living story
·
Contradicts
your character/gimmick, doesn’t put them over
·
Does
not keep to your alignment (Heel/Face/Tweener etc.)
·
Dialogue
badly used, large unbroken chucks of solid text
·
Unbalanced
in regards to the length of the promo
You
can check out the Infinity Developmental page here where you can learn how to
build amazing promos, characters, and more! http://www.infinitywrestling.net/#!infinitydevelopmental/c1a4e
Now,
onto the real business. I will be discussing all five matches that took place
on Infinity #3, with input from the Chairman himself. I hope you find this
feedback useful for making improvements in the future. Please try to read all
the match comments, being the King of Character I learnt by reading over
peoples feedback and haunted my opponents strengths and weaknesses, maybe you
can learn something too by reading everyone else’s feedback too.
-
-
Jameson
& Michaels vs. Over Rated (John Charismatic & Blair Holmes)
Harmony Tag Team Match
This
first match was the best of the night, as you’ll find out later in the blog,
and featured a team against two great individuals; this time round the team of
Jameson & Michaels had bested Over Rated. I will start with James Jameson,
respectively. James’s promo was a significant improvement on the last two
weeks; it was strong and consistent throughout with lots of Jameson style
cultural references that make it such an entertaining read. His character has
remained unchanged and that is a good thing as the character doesn’t need to
change, we only asked to see more of Jameson in terms of promo length. For the
last two weeks Jameson struggled in matches as he did really short promos that
shot him in the foot, this time round with the inclusion of more content we got
a greater sense of the character and the reason why he wanted to win this
match. His promo was at a good level, and the balance was really, really
strong…this time round James Jameson didn’t give us the bacon he gave us the
whole sandwich to feel satisfied with. It was relevant, well written with good
grammar, and the context of the promo was really good…he was based at the
museum in his promo, not one of the many stadiums of Infinity City. This
backdrop really set the scene, and incorporated many creations into his story
such as Dado Novo, YourHero Inc. Sloane Goto, Infinity News Network, and the
Infinity Historical Hub. I really loved the reference to Dado Novo’s past as a
member of the commentary/backstage team at UBW’s Tuesday Night Terror show.
Jameson ticked every box.
Now
here is where bad guy TCK comes into trivial effect, the bits that Jameson
could have done better. First and foremost he referred to the show as Infinity
Sundays…but we are on Mondays. But more importantly it was the theme of Harmony
that could have been better incorporated into the promo as a whole, considering
he is going against an established team in Over Rated I would have loved for to
relate TV to the false harmony of Over Rated, just being for cameras and all
that. Because his promo is based on high culture…what would harmony be? Would
harmony be obtainable if he believes the James Jameson character is above
everyone else…he is willing to work with Michaels and blames management (me)
for the decision to put them in the team, which was good to read, but the point
is what does harmony mean to individuals forced to team? Overall, a solid and
match winning performance by Jameson.
Next
up is the Master of Execution Chris Michaels, and he did execute this time
round because the combination of his and Jameson’s promos had secured him the
victory in this tight match up. The entire piece was well balanced, with no
grammar mistakes, and again directly related to the previous promo he had
written which gives the Michael’s character a great continuity to it that helps
build and develop the character gradually throughout time. The premise of his
promo was that he would deny management to do a segment for Lana Parker, the
BZN Vice President. What made this promo good, and something for everyone to
consider is that the list I have doesn’t mean I will be looking at it like “oh
you haven’t ticked all the boxes”, in this sense management are the restrictors
to him being Chris Michaels, and instead of putting other people over and being
relevant…the point is he was realistic and put himself over in the way he does
best, by saying that he will wrestle, compete, and keep out of it with the TCK
drama, so you know it doesn’t matter who he faces it will be him at the end of
the day and in a realistic setting that would be the case for many people. Lana
Parker is a good image for him using the topic of hating management well as he
disobeyed here and he didn’t care as its Chris Michaels. It is very genuine, intriguing,
and always grasps my attention well. The little things I liked about this promo
a lot, for example he used the line “I expected you to do what is right for
business”, and I expected Triple H to be where Lana Parker was standing. He
also had an amazing reference to Matt Rydell; he used his nickname as a ploy to
get over the point that he is a merchandise machine that it being manipulated
by the company to generate interest.
If
anyone wanted to know what a kayfabe pipe-bomb promo should be like, then this
is where you can learn a lot from Chris Michaels. The reality of the backstage
environment is a stern reality that he used to really put over Infinity’s
motives and why he doesn’t have to accept them. This imaginative take on his
character was used well and he again showed he really knows how to display his
knowledge on Infinity, Chris makes a solid case for winning the match and why
he is relevant in it. He put himself over as the workhouse of the company and
putting butts into seats for the company, his angle is that the company treats him
poorly, and how he wants to be a trendsetter for years to come which is eminent
in the last few lines of his promo.
In
the time of the Bebo Wrestling Network people were worried about doing long
storylines as nobody gave a damn, but Chris is bold enough to do a long story
that builds his character and we are here to judge the matches and give a
justified reason to their outcome. Chris gives us the reason that he keeps
building himself up, even after losing, he is the big package when it comes to
a character who keeps going to deeper level. Chris is a very real character,
built from realistic story. One promo in Bebo had no story, but we appreciate it
in IWF, it means people can be creative in promos and he is making the most out
of it. The transitions between the promos are really good, and Michaels has
really grasped the nature of Infinity well. Chris has faith that we can call it
down the middle and has faith in our abilities to make fair judgements, and
because of that he can act as creatively as he wants and it shines through in
his promos. There was little to fault with his promo, actually nothing at all,
his was the strongest of the pair of him and Jameson, and that was done with a
little bit of magic also. Michaels had written his promo again after losing it,
and to do it a second time and have patience with it shows the calibre of his
writing skills.
I
now move onto the pairing of Over Rated. And I will start with ‘Not Over’ John
Charismatic. His promo of the two in Over Rated was the weaker one, but not for
the wrong reasons, he had done everything right but compared to his previous
works it was not as edgy. The promo was hit and miss for me, and for Robbo
also, he had some really good sections…his second paragraph in the first part
of his promo about his son was really good to read about. John had a strong
shoot against his competitors, and me. The story of Over Rated has been in
overcoming their greatest critic: me. John really sold the angle well in his
promo. His shoot was in a unique situation and he did it with a twist, the
promo really went into his character and there was a beautiful, intense,
section where he lost it with his character mentally which really set the promo
ablaze. I wish I had seen more intensity beforehand.
Over
Rated’s promo was more direct and relevant to the match than Over Rated but if
the story didn’t back it up in the same engaging way then the reason for losing
can become justified, the reason was there but it couldn’t stack up to the
strength of his opponents in this round. It isn’t anything to fault, just to
work on and continue developing the story to a level that John feels
comfortable with. It was written well with mostly good grammar, of which could
have benefited with a spellcheck, and the additions to the Infinity City such
as Doctor White were really nice bonuses to the promo.
Things
that could have been addressed were few, the main one I already mentioned, but
other things were more apparent. Now, this is just a personal opinion but I
think a promo should never include the reliance of smoking cigarettes as a core
attribute of a gimmick, in my years of writing I find there is no character in
smoking; it is a distasteful distraction when used in overbearing amounts like
in this promo. I think it is tacky and misplaced, better suited for a show on
UK’s Channel 4 after 9pm shows. On paper it makes no sense why John does it,
and as a wrestler is makes no sense either. In this instance John used it more
than he should have, it should have been a background prop used sparingly in a
tense situation, not in the levels it was. I don’t mind people writing about it
as I love creative freedom, but easing up on these things can bring up the
taste of the promo. Another thing I was startled about was the theme of harmony
and why neither of them appeared in each-others promos. Overall, the little
things let them down, it was the grammar and props which disrupted the flow, we
loved Over Rated, and this is why we hate these decisions. We wanted them to win;
because this is as far I break the box is an angle, from a storyline point of
view we had money on them winning. Personally John’s promo was hit and miss,
the bits he did well he did REALLY good, and the others bits were a bit
lacklustre compared to last weeks. Also…the Charismatic Coliseum for me is a
really big selling point, and it should have gone into it more. This was a
tough decision, the roles were reversed this week as Blair’s was an overall
better read, they are very close, but Blair’s edged it for the group, but the opponents
edged it overall. If Jameson didn’t step it up, they’d have lost, and that why
we thought that Over Rated were going to win if Jameson pulled the same quality
of the last two weeks.
Lastly,
but not least, in the match of the night is Blair Holmes. Blair’s promo was
refreshing as it was quite funny to read, which good to read after reading very
serious promos for hours on end. Setting yourself apart is crucial and Blair
did that very well in his promo, a much stronger and better written performance
than the other matches he has wrestled. It was an immediate improvement on the
character and it quickly grabbed my attention and was engaging throughout.
Because it was a fun, innovative read I really liked it, and Robbo’s point of
view is good when he talked to me about the promo. He said that last week he
thought that John carried the stronger promo, but the role had been reversed as
it was now Blair’s time to shine. We were surprised by the upcoming nature of
the improvement and were impressed he had stepped it up when it mattered most;
because his promo was strong it brought with it a lot of debate of who was
going to win the match. This was that kind of match. The little things also
made it an entertaining read, Matt Rydell had a cameo appearance in the
Electric nightclub with a bible camp reference that I was in stitches reading,
also a recurring theme of promos is that I intend on doing what is ‘best for
business’ which makes me think that I am now the new Triple H of Infinity.
Additionally Blair’s shoot was strong and sold his character well. I really
enjoyed the ending of the promo, using my Copy That tagline, which sold for me
the point of harmony.
Now
here is the point in time people criticise me for criticising their grammar,
the only thing Blair needed to do was check up on his grammar mistakes. Grammar
is important as it shows attentiveness of writing and skill; it also disrupts
the flow when there is constant mistakes which can hinder a promo. Then again I
am made out to be ‘bad guy’ TCK because a certain Roderick Blackmore wants me
to ruin the party promo train and keep his visage as clean as possible.
Overall, a solid performance from Blair Holmes, one we hope to see repeat for
time to come.
Neal
Powers vs. Matt Young
IWF Purity Championship Match
Now,
this match was a hotly contested debate of who should have won between Young
and Powers, and it was a sour decision either way we made it because we were
dealing with two on par promos. Eventually Neal Powers was awarded the victory.
But first we will talk about Matt Young, and why he should have won, but why he
fell short at the same time.
When
reading a Matt Young promo is obvious that he is trying to set himself apart,
but I ask does he actually set himself apart. The layout of the promo was
amazing, he used colour well (and he was the first competitor to use it), he
pays attention to the actual match which makes it a nice relevant piece; he is
putting effort to really push for him to be the match winning type of guy. The
piece was written really well with little grammar mistakes noticeable, and from
week to week he is getting better and better, he is even improving on the
Infinity references such as the LaTundra Show which was a nice spot. These are
things that all online wrestlers rely upon in Infinity, the small details, and
in an ideal world we would have given the belt to Matt Young because of his
improvement. This is the third match in a row he has lost in Infinity, and we
don’t like the fact he has because we recognise the fact he writers a far more
compelling promo than most competitors on the ‘e-fed’ scene. The promo was hit
and miss for me personally, a bit like John Charismatics this week, there were
brilliant moments such as when he talked about fear was amazing. When his promo
got really edgy and bitter the aggressive tone of ‘The One and Only’ really
stood out and captured my attention.
Other parts felt like filler, and I don’t say that to be an arrogant
person, I really liked the promo but some parts were questionable, in order to
improve in the future the relationship with his manager Justin Hughes could
have been better played out and served more of a purpose into really putting
over the mental obstacle facing Matt Young’s character. Better utilisation of
parts of his promo could have won him the match, we know that writing a longer
promo can increase the chances but with it you got to bump up the quality with
it. For example better reference to Neal’s character would have really pushed
up the quality of the promo. Matt is doing everything perfectly fine, the
difference comes down to the depth of character…in a city of infinity
possibilities he is struggling to stand out in his promos. The fine detail
comes down to character development. Young from my point of view was playing it
safe, he can have his Infinity character separate from the rest of e-fed, the
perfect character, he has strengths, he has weaknesses, but if he offered some
more sizzle to spice it would have run a marathon. As said in an ideal world we
would have loved to have given him the championship. He also calls himself the
one and only, but apart from being called Matt Young I don’t know what else I
learned about the character in the promo. If we were to give him the belt it
would be a sour taste because of how good Neal’s was. I hate saying it, but the
promo this time round was generic (but also in a good way), there was no
ultimate catch, the one thing that any character hinges off…Matt Young is a
person with no gimmicked traits that make great characters really good. These
things don’t have to be huge, just a set of traits and rules that define who a
person is.
I
sound like a complete tool writing this as I don’t like saying these things to someone
who spends their time in this federation, we value everyone on the roster and I
personally can understand where Matt Young is coming form in terms of wanting
to know why he lost his match. I will let him know about my other character,
Isis Derrida.
Isis
Derrida is working in GWR at the moment, and I have lost matches to people with
awful writing skills and ability. Literally, a promo that contains a million
swear-words will always beat a well-crafted promo in that federation, its utter
bullshit. Out of four matches I won one match, and I know that it is incredibly
frustrating coming off back-to-back losses after thinking that you have done
more than enough to beat your opponent. GWR’s running, results, judging, show,
fed in general really put in context why I feel I need a system to judge promos
as aside to just going off my gut instinct as they do in GWR, they call it
‘preference’. I have no preference, I viewed Neal and Matt as equal
competitors, and then I read their promos knowing it could go either way, and
then after assessing the yes and no’s both members of management then debate
each win, and each time we come to Matt Young’s matches we are kicking
ourselves because he comes literally a fraction away from victory, and I hope
he can understand that the point of our system is to be fair. We have liked all
of Young’s promos, and it is obvious he has taken feedback on board really well
and for that he is a true champion as it takes balls to be able to step up
after reading someone pick apart the best and worst parts of a character. I do
it because I want to see people improve, I don’t want to just bash into a
character. I value everyone’s participation in this federation and I am humbled
for everyone to be involved so enthusiastically. Now, GWR have feedback of
their own…each match gets like a two sentence review and it normally includes a
few things including: why didn’t I post on the forum, and something overly
harsh about the handler (aka me, Sam, not Isis Derrida). They offer no real
feedback, only a personal opinion about the person who is actually writing the
promo. Isis Derrida always gets bad feedback because I don’t kiss-up to them
and the roster, and I just show up and promo. The Isis character gets tarnished
because he isn’t like everyone else, and I am assured I lose matches because I
am not part of any click. Now if you are reading Matt Young, and Neal Powers
too actually, know that our feedback was designed to help build character and
encourage people to learn from their past experiences. We try to shy away from
the negative stuff and only address it as a priority if we NEED to talk about
it, this match is a textbook example about why a system needs to be in place, I
learnt from my experience in GWR as I found that being treated like a pile of
s**t by their management really left me sour and hateful of their management
style. We aim to be the opposite of that and let everyone know we give a damn
about people’s participation, we worship you, and they expected me to worship
them. Matt, we know you have taken some time off after this week, for whatever
reason it may be, but if it has been down to the losses just know we had
nothing against you and we believe that you will find success in Infinity. This
week’s promo was on a scale one to ten was a solid seven, Michaels and Flynn do
nine and tens, Jameson was an eight this week, Neal was also a good seven which
is why we came to debate. Just know that at Infinity we treat you like you need
to be treated, with a fair and rationale justification, not an attack on your
character. I will not do to you what others have done to Isis Derrida in
another federation.
Also,
for developmental purposes I will share with you the subtle gimmick traits of
Isis Derrida that make him great, similar to how Punk’s mentality functions. I
believe if Matt Young is the One and Only
then maybe the character can really benefit from some defined rules that make
him the One and Only. Instead of
saying what makes him the One and Only, what makes him the Flying Angel is crucial,
it needs to make sense, be clear, and edgy, which sets them apart. I think if
Matt Young had some ground rules for his character then he can use these as
tools to literally decimate his opponents.
Isis
Derrida’s Code:
One.
I will always be honest with myself.
Two.
I will never swear or use profanity to prove a point.
Three.
I will face both genders indiscriminately.
Four.
I will never show mercy to my opponents.
Five.
I will always take an opinion as an opinion until it becomes a proven fact.
Six.
I will always speak my mind, no matter the aftermath.
Phew,
quite a few things off my chest that’s for sure. Matt Young got the attention
this week because I believe he is a prospect to one day contend for the world
title. Now I will speak about Neal Powers, the winner of the match. Neal
followed the same formula he had for the first week, albeit we thought his
first promo was significantly stronger in comparison. Never less it was
apparent he had again scouted out his opponent really well and his homework had
paid off…which can make a huge difference in the quality of the promo. The
shoot on Matt Young was very, very good, and it was a consistent approach that
enabled him to spend more time on dismantling Matt Young. Powers strives in
really delving into a character as his strong point, he doesn’t need to
over-push his gimmick in regards to the background, and he is a straight up
shooter and is good at taking the issue head on. A small detail I loved was the
fact he made reference to ‘an act of kindness’, I really hope Powers is a Halo
game series fan as this is the catchphrase of the main enemy, the Didact.
In
regards for improvement Neal could have better explained the motive of Neal
Powers, the role of purity and the Blood Family being converged, and the
significance of this event. Neal is a great shooter, he has a very good writing
style, and he doesn’t need an elaborate setting to rein the torrent terror he
promises. Neal needs to better find out who
the character if he wants to keep up the form he has, knowing the kind of man
Neal is can be a useful tool to understand his actions, some characters are
dark and deep for a reason. Finding out who Manik is, what drives Neal, his
views on the City, and more. Over time this can be accomplished, if he takes it
step by step, reads over his work and feels satisfied he has hit the nail on
the head he should feel confident he is doing something right. As long as the
interest is there, the spark that means he can go nose-diving into a promo
knowing that the darkness in Neal can overcome just about anything in his
peculiar style then he is on a money winning formula.
Reedit: I write this
after tweeting Neal Powers only recently, he claims he did a bad promo. Now, if
he was to re-read it in the sense that it is just a piece of work he did then
the perception might have changed the tone of the promo. We believed he did
enough to win the match; the key to feeling good with a promo is to make sure
you cover your entire basis. Neal should ask himself if he has included everything
he needs to add. If it helps I always write a bullet point list of things I’ll
talk about before writing just in case I forget a train of thought. Neal’s
promos read main event, and it is natural to overthink a promo. Adrian always
asks me for ways to improve, he overcame the confidence issues with his promos,
and if Neal feels he is ready I wouldn’t mind booking him in a world
championship feud in the near future. Whenever I write my own novels I always
ask…what did I do good, what didn’t I like, is it consistent, do I even need
this bit, is there a purpose to what I am writing? The number one rule is that
something needs to make complete sense, because after all everyone who does a
promo is a writer. For the audience sake if you translate your words well into
a promo then they can better connect and immerse themselves into it. I hope
this adds some more context to the promo, improvement, and anything else anyone
was wondering.
I
asked Robbo if he could give me one definitive reason why Matt Young should
defeat Neal Powers and be a champion in IWF? I wanted the one reason. He
couldn’t, Neal didn’t waste his time, but given the context of it…we asked who
presented the best case for winning the match when we take away the filler of
the sandwich which in this match is what we based it off…there was more bacon
in Neal’s to feel satisfied that we made the right call. We hated is because Matt
Young repeats history for the third time.
I
am going to have to be Bad Guy D, I am the bearer of bad news, and I am the Ron
Swanson to Rob Lowe’s Chris Trager (for any fans of NBC’s Parks & Recreation). I have to be the one to say it how it is,
and we didn’t like the decision but we would have regretted it even more if we
gave Matt the belt based on his promo. Either way it was going to upset
someone, and for us Matt Young did everything and improved, but Neal delivered
a much better quality promo that engaged us more to justify the win.
Jordan Casanova
& Matt Rydell vs. Jason Smith & Typhon Kaos
Harmony Tag Team Match
This
match was one of three this week where a result was based solely off who had
written a promo, in this instance Jordan Casanova, Jason Smith, and Typhon Kaos
all failed to promo which meant that Matt Rydell only needed to promo in order
to obtain him and his partner a default victory. It is a shame when people do
not promo when me and Robbo put in so much work into each show and making time
for everyone, we can only hope people promo in the future to avoid any harsh
exchanges that follow no shows.
As
ever Rydell’s worked impressed me, it was very much his style as he showed that
he is the man about the Infinity City. Matt Rydell is the man everyone is
talking about and wearing the merchandise. It is cool that he addresses the
backstage issues of his defeat too, and makes it very relevant to his
frustration in this tag team match…he doesn’t want to be here and now he has to
tag with Casanova, a man he has issues with. Rydell speaks in a hybrid of
attitude and clean, and it works for him. Rydell even had one of the quotes of
the week which you will find later on in the blog. Shoot promo style really
does work for Rydell, it was relevant, edgy and aggressive in every aspect
which made it a gritty read. An actual really good promo considering he needed
to write only one word for it and stronger than his second for sure, but still
had its minor problems. Better shoot against Jordon than his opponents, which
says a lot, but then again he didn’t have a lot to work with his opponents.
Things
to address were the grammar mistakes; I know…I hark on about grammar but if I don’t
Roderick ends up complaining I am not forcing the issue. Aside from this the
only thing I could fault Matt’s promo was the context of Roderick Blackmore, a
vocal point of the promo. Taylor Westfall had done this in his first promo, it is
just a small thing but people address the Roderick Blackmore and Robert Stevens
character as one and the same. This is a new character with no relation to the storyline
of Robert Stevens, we do understand that it is an easy mistake to make that
needs to be addressed for the future.
"Not that I shouldn't have seen it before, I
mean, me and Blackmore have had our issues in the past. We even had a match at
one point, way back in the day, back in another place and time. So I really
shouldn't be surprised that this is happening. You would just think that a
businessman would want to keep his top star, the cash pig, the most over man in
the company happy..."
If
Rydell was to have used TCK instead would have corrected this, or maybe even
Destiny example, or maybe even said that he dealt with someone like him before,
hinting at the handler relationship, that would have been more subtle and a
more correct take on things. Overall, a strong performance from Rydell…if his
competitors did promo they would’ve a hard time breaking his line of defense.
Jett
Underwood & Rick Bowman vs. Murray Muir & Jack Anderson
Harmony Tag Team Match
This
was the second match in which there a default victory, and we are disappointed
at Infinity HQ because we were genuinely excited for the debuts of Rick Bowman
and Jett Underwood. We don’t know why they didn’t promo, as these two have
really interesting characters. At the end of the day it was their loss, and I
will talk about the winners of the match, the team of Murray Muir and Jack
Anderson.
Murray
Muir hit the ball out of the park with his promo, it added some great additions
to the city, including Ryan Jason (reference to the former Jason Ryan of the
Bebo Wrestling Network) which had me laughing by his very presence, and other
additions. Muir followed his great formula that made this the most interesting
and entertaining read of the week. There was little or nothing to fault with
this promo, especially when the dialogue exchanged is very realistic and used
well and to effect. The conversations particularly between the mob were amazing
and I had a really good sense about the type of ‘talks’ they would be having
and also the visual scene happening simultaneously. I had a clear and very
vivid sense of everything that happened in this promo which allowed me to
relate to it and see it for what it truly was, a well written and compelling
piece that challenged Murray Muir with the very fabric of his being in the
Infinity City. Damien Muir’s inclusion was a really nice touch and easter egg
for all old-school online wrestlers who knew this gimmick, the best thing about
this interaction was that it was a very good fallout to the match finish at
Infinity #2 where he tried to use weapons to take down Adrian Flynn. Additionally,
this new Muir character has obstacles to overcome, a lot of wrestlers don’t really
talk about the challenges they face in the right way…it is overcoming
boundaries that make the best wrestlers, Muir is very good at doing this and
making it something that drives the character. There was many epic lines spoken
that gave this a heavy punch. Also the swearing isn’t a problem in Muir’s promo,
there were only two times I counted he didn’t need to do it but I overlooked it.
The promo was relevant, and included his opponents very nicely and in context to
their characters…he even had a really good moment where he did a shoot on his
partner Jack Anderson, and it was great because it totally suited Murrays style.
Ending was great because it totally suited his character, being dragged away by
security, overall it is very clear Murray is very in tune with everything going
on in Infinity…he is always relevant, he is the resident Infinity badass.
The
only thing I fault with Muir’s promo is that it was wasted on two opponents who
did not show up, but well recognised and evaluated by yours truly.
Secondly,
it was Jack Anderson that was heading up the team with Murray Muir. I write
this match and I incorporated the threat of another attack on him, but this
time round it was the two no-shows who got the foul treatment. Jack’s promo was
short and sweet, an introduction promo to his career in Infinity that reflects
on what happened in Infinity #1 when he was attacked mysteriously. The promo
was good as it built upon that story, and his friendship with TK inside and out
of the ring. It was relevant to the match for the most part and he even put
over his tag team partner Murray Muir, and also talked about the issue of being
a wildcard night. All that said it was a short, sweet reflective peace. The length
of the promo was enough to win him the match this time round because of the two
no shows, but in a competitive environment some more content may be needed to
step up his game and expand upon the quality seen in this promo. Jack Anderson
is a high quality talent and occasional wrestler, in the future I would love to
see his gimmick infused with the character seeing as Jack is a naturally
paranoid individual, even if TK was there or not. Aside from the grammar and
spacing errors (few, may I add), the only thing I would recommend in another
match is to at least focus a little bit of time on the opponents of the match…luckily
this time round it wasn’t needed.
Lucian
Shannon & Joey Tierney vs. Jamo & Starkiss
Harmony Tag Team Match
Joey
Tierney should be kicking himself, because Lucian Shannon not showing up
screwed him out of a potential victory…pure and simple. Blame Bobby. Blame
Bobby. Blame Bobby.
Anyway,
we still considered Tierney’s promo and appreciated it, and we thank him for
showing up, Jamo and Starkiss too.
I
now pass over to Roderick Blackmore who provided the feedback to this match
personally.
Robbo
(Roderick Blackmore) here to give my insight on this match. Overall I would say
that the three promos are a great improvement on past efforts and there are
obvious signs of improvement from all three. When we grade promos we always
refer to the promo guide (on the Developmental page) and as always are decisions
are based on the qualities shown on there and anything else in your promos, so
bear in mind that my critique.
Joey Tierney
First of all
I would like to say that Joey that we tried to contact Lucian Shannon as best
we could for this match but he didn’t get back to us in time so we’re sorry
that a loss has been marked against your name in this match, especially because
you produced a good promo that would have been more than enough to win if your
wildcard partner would have submitted a promo. Firstly I’ll talk about the good
elements on your promo and then I’ll get constructive and offer some writing
wisdom that you should take into consideration for future matches.
Joey your
promo was very digestible and readable in the sense that that way you
transition between each part in your promo, and the way you break it up for the
most part is really good. I don’t feel overwhelmed when I am reading it, and
that is always good. A reader wants to be in control of what they are reading for
the most part and are able to connect to a character or characters as a result.
The first two paragraphs are not too long and I’d say that the promo in its
entirety is short, sweet and gets to the point, which is also another plus. I
can tell you try hard to get across the rock-star persona and in terms of your
dialogue when both shooting against Jamo and Starkiss and the pre-interview
part in the City really gets across that persona. To improve on this I’d say
that when you’re describing Tierney whilst he’s speaking mention traits of a
rock star and things that accompany them, like the odd fan girl shouting out,
the shiny white rock star smile and what would have been really good in this
instance is if you were secretly pondering why everybody is star struck with
Jamo. A heel rock and roll god would try and immediately place the limelight
away from others for their own favour, and for the most part you did that but
to make a good piece great a little inside thought from Tierney would have been
great.
Whenever I’m
writing novels, stories, or anything in Infinity, if a character is having a
thought that he doesn’t want to say, italic it. By doing this you give your
character greater depth because it means not only are you a calculated
individual, but it means that there is more that means the eye than just the
surface of an otherwise egocentric rock god. Here is an example below of
exactly what I mean;
Those in attendance look towards Jamo
in awe, it should be me cast in the light, I’m a god damn rock god for Christ
sake! I think long
and hard over Jamo’s constant attention, knowing the tide of attention has to
turn in my favour.
The part
where you put Jamo over is really good, especially because it follows his
storyline in the city as a legend and fits in well with the cannon of the city.
To top it off the bit where Lucian isn’t there is great because not only did it
come true in the end, but Lucian’s character lives in the city’s underground
and it’s unlikely that a man of that mystery would turn up to an event like
that. I also like the link to FBW (Future Bebo Wrestling) and remember fondly
your connection with it so from a nostalgia point of view it’s great. Another
good interlinking factor was mentioning Mike from the coffee shop from the
first promo against Smith; it’s always good from my point of view when you draw
from the past.
Now, here’s
come constructive points, because every promo in the history of online
wrestling can improve (yes Dary, even yours). I have a few points in general
that I’d like to raise because out of the two between me and Sam I am the
grammar Nazi and even if it’s the smallest little detail I think it’s worth
mention. I’ll list my example below so they are laid out for you.
You mention
yourself as ‘ultra mega’ – it needs to be written as ‘ultra-mega’.
Gold studded leather jacket, ripped
dark blue jeans, aviator sunglasses, blonde spiked hair, a weird-looking tattoo
of a sword on his left hand, and an empty bottle of vodka in the other. – This bit needs to have a separation
because you’re making a new point and has no connection to the description of
the city that you begin with
Second
paragraph – It’s all about the dialogue. I like your style with it but the
start of a new quotation should begin on a new line. It’s the easiest way to
read it. It’s not the end of the world by any means because you bolds the
speech. I’d say write it similar to how a novel is written instead of having a
block of text
In addition
the mention of nightclubs, it’s good but you could have made it even better by
including one of the Nightclubs in the city (which are viewable on the city
document on ‘The City’ page of the website). Aside from these little things I
picked up on, I would say that it was a solid effort overall.
Why did I do
the finish to the match? Jason Smith attacked you and but in return you got the
upper hand. This was to continue the feud between the two of you and because we
thought it was the best way to make you look strong. Lucian took the submission
and I needed a way where you couldn’t tag in, so I had Smith come out for the
distraction which put you over despite the loss.
Jamo
Jamo I don’t
feel the need that I have to go into your promo at all because in terms of
quality it is on par with your previous efforts and I still believe you could
draw on what TCK has written in the previous feedback. Like what Tierney’s
promo I will state what is good and then get constructive.
The best
quality of your promo is definitely your smack talk. It’s simple, threatening
and has its unique touch that we have all come to know and love. There are
great signs that Jamo is a mythic wrestler, when the lights go out and you see
Jamo’s glowing red eyes and the bone throne and the sense that Logan couldn’t
get a word in edge ways. This was a
week dedicated to harmony and you really put the concept over well by allowing
Starkiss to use the wonder lock (though circumstances differed on the actual
results). This really put over the chemistry of your team and gives me and Sam
a lot to work with.
Getting
constructive, the best way to improve your promos are by refining the
presentation by using bold and italics (which if you write your promo on word,
should be able to paste directly onto the forum without losing any coding). A
clean looking promo is much easier on the eye, though we would never deduct
from a promo for a lack of presentation, but in many ways it is a garnish that
is always optional and sometimes beneficial. It’s the olive in the martini, a
lime wedge in a Corona, the cherry on top of the cake. All garnishes are meant
to be attractive on the eye and reel you in at one glance. We know your
qualities lay away from this, but there is always the potential to improve the
mood of your promos by adding the cheery on top, a finesse to go alongside the
legend of Infinity City.
One thing
that you can improve on in terms of your character’s development Jamo is
drawing from your last promo when you said that you were here to save
wrestling, which could have been utilised in your promo when you address
Starkiss. Making reference to yourself as saviour and having your history with
Starkiss brushed aside would have made this promo more memorable.
There are
also grammar issues, like you not using a capital S when mention Starkiss,
instead you write ‘starkiss’ and on one or two occasions there are spelling
mistakes, but overall those are minor offenses in an otherwise decent promo.
Starkiss
Congratulations
on your first victory Starkiss, I would first like to say that analysing your
promo brings back memories of evaluating a book from school and University. I
have racked my brain trying to say something of intelligence because Starkiss’s
speech is so far removed from anything I’ve read in Infinity, which is good
because different is always good. It’s a definite improvement on your promo but
perhaps in the future fusing a story like this with a little bit of shoot would
make you a force to be reckoned with here. In fact I know so because if you
transitioned story into shoot it’d improve this standalone piece of work.
I was really
impressed with your promo and out of the three in this match is by far the most
interesting piece because of its subtext and hidden meanings. The theme of the
years changing from summer to autumn, winter, spring and then back to summer
and noting how times have changed are really good. I hope that the change from
the first part of your promo to the second is to signify the change you are
enduring after your opening defeat against Jamo, where you lost the Wonder
Lock. You use some good, interesting words and the two themes of being alone and having Death has made his decision and your fate shall be met is really
good from a reader’s point of view. This promo has got my mind racing because
this is a really good writing style, the way that your story is put across
through repetition has opened me up to a whole new way of storytelling. The
greatest strength of this promo is that you really set the scene well and the
descriptive text is used really well, as I said at the very top to make this a
killer promo infusing story and shoot would have taken this piece to a whole
new level.
No grammar
mistakes are noted which is really good, this shows that you’ve taken time to
carefully go over. Also I am going to make the assumption that when writing
this promo you may have been influence by something outside of Infinity and
just wanted to write whatever came off the top of your head, but it worked.
Just remember that we have guidelines to promos and though we do not live by
them mention of the theme harmony would have been amazing, though I believe
there is subtext with Starkiss being in harmony with himself as the seasons
come and go.
Presentation
on the website was cool but at the same times hard on the eye. The contract of
the black background and white text is fine, and similar to Jamo, we didn’t
dock your promo by any means but it could have been nicer on the eye. Sometimes
simplicity is better.
Aside from
the feedback, I am sad that you’re taking a little break away from Infinity,
and hope that you return soon. University will do wonders for you, both on a
writing and social level, just remember that the first year doesn’t count and
you should just get drunk at any conceivable moment because those are the memories
you’ll take away from your time at Uni. And whenever you’ve got an hour spare
it would be great if you could chip in with a promo or two, even a segment or
an idea for the city, but that’s the whole point of Infinity. The game is to be
played at your pace, so if you come back to us in one week, one month, one
year, just remember that there will always be a place for you on our roster, a
place for you to vent some of your obvious creativity. I would like nothing
more than for you to compete against Jamo at Infinity #4 so we can give you
some kind of a send-off, but it’s down to you at the end of the day and we all
look forward to seeing you round these parts sooner rather than later.
Signed your
good friends Rob and Sam.
Now, hold on
just one minute playa
Starkiss…we
know your little secret. Plagiarising is banned in Infinity for obvious reasons,
and in this case was unfair to your opponent Joey Tierney who actually writes
his promo from scratch. If you don’t know what we are talking about…maybe this
will refresh your memory of what we are talking about.
The
D has eyes everywhere…
-
-
I
am proud to announce that promo of Infinity #3 goes to…Murray Muir!
I
really enjoyed his promo this week out of everyone’s, he showed brilliant
attitude and charisma this week and really stepped it up. It didn’t matter that
neither of his opponents promo’d against him, Murray still delivered a top quality
promo that covered all basis, built on his character, and gave a compelling sense
about the troubles facing Murray Muir in building an identity for him inside
the Infinity City…the responsibilities, drama, the fallout of defeat, the price
of victory. Congratulations Murray!
Consolations
to Chris Michaels who had another bombshell of a promo, a master class tale of
a man who just doesn’t buy into the Infinity system. I loved it, so did Robbo.
In fact everyone in that match deserves a round of applause for making it one
hell of a match, and four great reads. Also…Neal Powers and Matt Rydell had
strong showings that are worthy of notice.
I
am proud to announce that Infinity #3’s Match of the Week goes to…Chris
Michaels & James Jameson vs. Team ‘Over Rated’ John Charismatic & Blair
Holmes.
All
four of the participants showed up, and delivered four amazing submissions that
made this an easy decision this week. All four were fun and highly entertaining
and made it difficult to pick a clear winner. Credit where credit is due this
week, these four men are showing that they are some of Infinity’s finest. In
second place the match between Neal Powers and Matt Young involving the IWF
Purity Championship was another hot favourite for this week’s prize for match
of the week.
There
were some pretty cool things people said in their promo’s this week, and here
are the three I think are worthy of some merit:
Matt Rydell
“I'm the bad guy
you hate to love. I'm the anti-hero, in the truest sense of the word. I am
the representative of the people; I am the face of the company!"
Murray Muir
“You’d better get your act together Murray, I want to see some serious
improvement!” Damien snapped, before slightly tilting his head to the side. “Or
does somebody else have to die?”
-
Damien
Muir to Murray Muir
Murray Muir
“And then there’s my lovely tag team partner,”
he said, his purple eyes pulsing with anger as the security guards pulled at
his arms and torso, “I seem to have run into a spot of bother here, partner, these
people seem to think I’ve done something wrong. Fancy lending me a hand, partner?
Fancy maybe intervening here? No? of course not! You don’t like getting
physical, do you Jack? That’s why you never seem to bother showing up!”
James Jameson
“And up pops
Infinity City, making my dreams come true… And yet here I am, under contract to
compete here… I suppose it gives me something to complain about… So I open this
mecca of culture in a city that otherwise consists of about twelve stadiums,
even more night clubs and a casino. And that’s all.”
For
the third time excuse the awful Ryback pun, but in all seriousness if you wish
to discuss more about your individual promos or anything else related to
anything like your character or promos do not hesitate to contact Infinity
Management. We’ll always respond to emails, or if you have either of the 2.0
Initiative on Facebook send us a private message or post in the Infinity group
and I’m sure a conversation will break out.
TCK’s Email:
infinitycopycat@gmail.com
Infinity Email:
wrestlinginfinity@gmail.com
No
way is better than the imitative way.
-
-
@TheCopycatKid
@infinityIWF
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